My heart smiled at the sight of you. A leap of joy at your familiar face.
I instantly jerked towards you. My hand mentally tracing the way up your arm and around your neck, where it would sit so comfortably.
My heart spluttered and retraced the smile. Disappointment sunk in. My hands felt lonely dangling loosely by my sides, and my body felt unexplainably cold; a void where your torso would press against mine, so safe and warm.
What seemed like so long ago.
I felt your eyes on me as I walked through the room. I didn’t dare meet them. Instead, I floated between the people, only a distraction, as if it was just us two in a crowd of faceless characters.
I took a risk and decided to walk right in the lion’s jaw. Sitting across from you, making friendly conversation with your neighbour, I avoided looking straight at you, as it might blow my cool.
You listened intently to the chatter, but didn’t join in. You laughed when supposed to, but all the while, keeping an unsteady gaze in my direction I couldn’t quite decipher.
Was it longing? Was it nostalgia? Was it resent? Was it regret? Was it anger? Was it just plain confusion?
You disappeared that night while I was getting coffee. I guess no goodbye is better than an awkward one.
I just wish we didn’t have one.
I instantly jerked towards you. My hand mentally tracing the way up your arm and around your neck, where it would sit so comfortably.
My heart spluttered and retraced the smile. Disappointment sunk in. My hands felt lonely dangling loosely by my sides, and my body felt unexplainably cold; a void where your torso would press against mine, so safe and warm.
What seemed like so long ago.
I felt your eyes on me as I walked through the room. I didn’t dare meet them. Instead, I floated between the people, only a distraction, as if it was just us two in a crowd of faceless characters.
I took a risk and decided to walk right in the lion’s jaw. Sitting across from you, making friendly conversation with your neighbour, I avoided looking straight at you, as it might blow my cool.
You listened intently to the chatter, but didn’t join in. You laughed when supposed to, but all the while, keeping an unsteady gaze in my direction I couldn’t quite decipher.
Was it longing? Was it nostalgia? Was it resent? Was it regret? Was it anger? Was it just plain confusion?
You disappeared that night while I was getting coffee. I guess no goodbye is better than an awkward one.
I just wish we didn’t have one.
1 comment:
this is really good :)
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